Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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