it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
