i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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