if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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