I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
