He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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