i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
