It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
