I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize