Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
