she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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