I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
