If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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