So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
