yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
