plz talk dirty to me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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