doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
