Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
