His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
