I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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