when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
