I seem to have left my pride at pride
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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