So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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