I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
