Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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