the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
