so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
