when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
