i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
