You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
