I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
