Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
