Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The Olympian is in my bed
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize