i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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