Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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