foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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