She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
