I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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