I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
