do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
