does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pants are for mortals
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