I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
