Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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