But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
