Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
