I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
