I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
