the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
