he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
