Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize