I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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