Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
