why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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