I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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