So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
