I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
