There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
