HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
