Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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