There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
