ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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