And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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