My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She even gives head with a lisp.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
